While your resume may list a series of pedestrian positions, international super villains know that your skills thwarted their evil plans for world domination. While they resent the hell out of you, they must concede that your incredible work as an administrative assistant, barista, or stock analyst was far too powerful for their evil schemes. This recommendation will grudgingly credit your efforts, laud your skills, and sing your praises in a resentful tone that will impress potential employers. 

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